May 26, 2017

Repair Your Relationships If You Want To Change Your Body

Who you are today is a direct side effect of the relationships you have in your life.

Your relationship with the scale, your relationship with food, with exercise, with other people, and yes – even with yourself, directly impact the way you think and act. And these behaviors make you who you are.


Most people have a dysfunctional relationship with the scale. We praise it when the number is lower than expected and we curse it when it’s higher.

I continue to believe that removing the scale from your life is one of the best things you can do for your health and happiness.

That doesn’t mean giving up or that you’re burying your head in the sand. It means you’ve taken the steps to create emotional independence from a machine. It means you’re going to start turning inward to validate your behaviors and progress.


For most people, food is an overwhelming controlling force in their life. You treat food as the enemy when you want to lose weight and over-restrict the life-giving energy and nutrients it provides.

Then you create a “last supper” mentality around so-called bad foods and end up overeating them because you think they aren’t allowed on your diet or they will keep you from reaching your goals.

It’s time to fix this relationship. Fire the food police, especially if you’re one of them. Knock all foods down to a level playing field. And then you decide what’s OK to eat based on how certain foods make you feel.

The ultimate goal is to not want something because it doesn’t make you feel your best, instead of feeling like you can’t have it because it won’t make you look your best.


The people in our lives directly impact how we live our own lives. Parents, friends, and coworkers all influence our actions whether we want them to or not.

Comments like “live a little” or “you don’t need to lose any weight” or even other people commenting on your body all drive us to take actions that aren’t in our best interest.

We end up doing things for others instead of ourselves. A healthy lifestyle is a personal journey. And your body is nobody’s business but your own.

It’s time to break up with or stand up to the people in your life who control you, and take responsibility for your own life. Only you have to live with the consequences of your actions.


Exercise is healthy – right? Yes, only if you use it the way it’s meant to be used.

Too many people use exercise as a punishment tool. Not consciously, but the actions they take have more to do with fighting the fat off their body, instead of moving their body for the sheer joy of it.

Exercise is meant to pick you up, not tear you down. Choose exercise you enjoy even if it never results in a single pound lost.

When you do that you end up engaged in the process. You look forward to working out. You create an active lifestyle. And you remain consistent with physical activity long enough to experience transformation.

Your Self

This relationship is probably the most important one of them all. We don’t like ourselves. We place contingencies on our happiness, saying we’ll be happy and like ourselves once we’re at our goal weight.

Why wait to like yourself? Do you think that weight loss automatically results in happiness?

It doesn’t.

There are people with six packs that are miserable and hate their bodies.

If you’re critical of yourself now, you’ll be critical of yourself when you’re at your goal weight.

You have to work on your body image right now. You have to start trusting yourself to make the right choices again. You have to learn to accept yourself as you are right now.

When you do that you start taking care of yourself. You take care of the people you like. So you need to make your self one of those people you like.

The side effect of this improved relationship, like all improved relationships in your life, is better health, happiness, and yes – even weight loss.

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